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Now it came to pass in those days of the Great War upon the Hitletites that the grade school teacher said unto herself, "behold, today is Wednesday," which, being interpreted, is Bank Day!"
And she took her seat at her desk and laid her record book thereon, and then she said to her students which were of tender years, "Lo, it is Bank Day," And she continued, "But those students who have brought no money for the Bank Day must take their seats forthwith. Neither will I take any Milk Money, or any Picture Money. Nay, I will not take any Junior Red Cross Money, nor any cans of beans for the Providence Hospital, until verity all the Bank Money hath been counted and delivered unto the Principal. Lo, I have spoken!"
Therefore she did set out the Ice Cream Box with the slit in the top to receive he money, and the students of tender years did crowd about her with divers, pennies and nickels and dimes which they set about steadfastly to drop in the box, and the teacher set duly down in her record book that amount which each student had brought.
But it so happened that some of the students of tender years who had brought no bank money but only milk money, did not go straightway unto their seats but remained to watch the counting of the bank money. And suddenly the teacher did find upon her desk a white penny of those years, and when she did not reckon the correct balance in her book, she inquired in a loud voice, "Whose penny is this?" And a student said in a still, small voice, "it is my milk money."
And the grade school teacher lamented and lifted up her voice and cried out, "Did I not tell the milk children to take their seats? Verily, I say unto you, l am mixed up in my figures." And by reason of her violence the milk children departed to their seats, and there came about a loud argument about the long green pencil and the short yellow pencil without an eraser, and the teacher cried out unto them, "Hush! Hush! Of what profit is a pencil on Bank Day?" And they ceased their murmuring.
Then the outer door did open and the Hot Lunch Messenger from above did enter. So, therefore, the teacher became humble and did rescind her order and did ask in a humble voice for all the children to come forth who wanted their lunch tickets to come forth, and by chance some of the bank children who were yet waiting joined them in the line and bought hot lunches. For they were too young to know for a surety whether their money should go to the messenger, or to the lady in the cafeteria, or indeed to their teacher. And there was much argument among them.
Now when the hot lunch messenger had departed the teacher had done with the bank money and did call for the children to gather about her with the milk pennies. So them came forward and each child put down his coin. And lo, a certain child said that he had already paid for his milk, but the teacher believed him not, because in last year she remembered his older brother, who did likewise make false witness about the money. But nevertheless, the teacher being a weak soul, did pay from her own money for his milk because he had a thin face and always looked hungry. So order and peace returned to the room.
Then the outer door opened and a certain big brother did come with 95 cents for a picture, for they also had their pictures taken in that school but not yet in the living color. But not precisely 95 cents was in the same envelope, because it was a two-dollar bill with the likeness of Thomas Jefferson thereupon and the wise mother had simply written thereon, "The change of this is for the milk." Moreover, the big brother desired back 95 cents for his own picture, neither did he want a dollar bill, because he had need of a nickel for his own milk.
Then the grade school teacher did verily spill the beans, for she took out her own purse and made the change and then she was utterly lost, for the bank money came out one dollar in excess, notwithstanding the fact that the picture money was all under the blotter and the bank money had not moved out of the box, and the milk money was in the paste jar, and her own money was in the drawer, for she had not found time to put it back into her purse.
Then the children who had paid a token for milk departed to their own seats, and as they departed the teacher counted them, and Lo the number of them was the same as the sum of their milk money, and the teacher lifted up her eyes unto heaven and rejoiced. And when she was about to render thanks, the outer door opened and a boy cried out in a loud voice, "Hath anyone here lost a mitten?" And the teacher cried out unto him, "Get thee hence, for thou knowest that lost mittens go to the office, neither strike upon the door which is busy with the Bank Money."
So the boy responded not a word, but as he departed with haste with the mitten, he met certain boys coming in with 27 bottles of milk. Verily I say unto you that they met in the doorway, the ones coming in and the others going out. And there was much crying over spilt milk in those days. Then at the other door appeareth a girl with nine cents for the Junior Red Cross. So herewith she took out the Junior Red Cross book and set down the nine cents therein. Then she lifted off her desk the many cans of corn for the hospital, and a bag of squash, and a sack of potatoes, so much that she could scarcely see through the midst of them. But she did smile through the aperture she had thus made and did say, "Lo, the monies are now counted and we will say our morning prayer-, For they did say the prayers in these ancient times. And behold as the class ended their prayer, a boy spake out, "You have not heard our reading class." And he verily spake the truth.
And Lo! as the reading class of Busy Bees did assemble, the bell rang for recess, and the teacher was glad. Then she spake unto them "Do not run, neither push out nor strike any of your friends, but get into your sweaters and get into line. And moreover, do not get into any trouble on the school grounds for verily I am ragged out and shall lie down in the teacher's room, for next week we shall have also the Christmas Seals to prevent tuberculosis among ye children, and the Santa Claus buttons for the P.T.A. for which thou shalt bring money. And hearken unto me, ye children, after thy teacher hath finished making seat work and correcting workbooks after school, she is planning to apply for work at the G.C. Murphy store, for it hath been reported that they have one clerk to sell the milk and hot lunches and count the money, who doeth no teaching of any sort in her spare time." And they departed in haste, and the teacher went to the lounge and found her Kool.